Boo for Booers

Posted on November 1, 2010 by

It happened in games 1 & 2 of the World Series in San Francisco, but it continued in games 3 & 4 in Arlington.

The players in the starting lineup were announced and the crowd booed.  They booed in San Francisco when the Texas Rangers were announced, and they booed in Arlington when the San Francisco Giants were announced.

BOO!

What happened to good sportsmanship?

I was raised in a home where booing was considered wrong.  Period.  WRONG.  You don’t boo the other team and you certainly don’t boo referees or umpires.

We mustn’t lose sight of what it means to be good winners and good losers.  To me, booing is lowering your standards.  It’s classless.

I’m ready for a boo free America.  What’s wrong with a little courtesy and applause?  In the long run, it will make us better people.

Posted in Family ties, Memories, On the serious side, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Do-overs

Posted on October 19, 2010 by

In my last post I told you how much I missed my kids.  Nothing’s changed, but I wanted to share a few tips with you so that you wouldn’t have to experience 1,500 miles of distance between you and your children like I have to.

First of all, I always told my kids that they could go anywhere.  I told them not to limit their college selections based on close proximity to home but rather to use that time to go out and see the world.

What was I thinking?

When Stephen was a senior in high school we took him to Los Angeles and it was during that trip that he decided he wanted to live on the beach and go to college at UCLA.  Courtney’s junior year we took a trip to New York and that’s all it took to convince her that she was destined to attend New York University.  What were we thinking?

The summer of 2006 was horrible.  Courtney graduated from high school and was headed to NYU and Stephen, after 2 years at the University of Oklahoma, had been accepted at UCLA.  In August, we rented a U-Haul and drove Stephen’s belongings to California, then boarded a plane to New York to get Courtney situated in the Big Apple.

In a one week time frame, my kids were bi-coastal.

I cried the ugly cry all the way home from New York.  Then I spent several months drowning my sorrows with double stuffed Oreos.

It was awful. I gained 30 pounds and slept with my cell phone in case they called.

I thought that raising my kids to think for themselves was the right thing to do.  I figured that the worst that could happen would be that they would vote for a Democrat.  Boy was I wrong.

Now Stephen is working and living in Houston, and in a few months he will be transferring to Denver.  Courtney has decided that pursuing a career in screenwriting will mean that she will move to Canada after she graduates.

If you don’t want to end up like me, with an empty nest, here are my suggestions:

1.  Never take your kids to vacation spots that are also college towns.

2.  Aside from the geography that they study in 8th grade, don’t tell them that life exists outside a 50 mile radius.

3.  When they question the existence of  cities like New York City or Los Angeles, LIE.  Tell them those aren’t real places, just Hollywood fantasy.

4.  Most importantly, lay on the guilt.  Tell them how sad you will be if they move away. And,

5.  If all else fails, bribe them.  Or lock them in their rooms, whichever comes easier.

I am proud of my kids.  I live my life vicariously through them.  Stephen spends every third or fourth weekend in Mexico or Italy vacationing.  Courtney is being mentored by the best writers and moguls in the media world.  Stephen makes more money than his dad does and Courtney is becoming a very sought-after entertainment graphic designer.

I don’t know whether to be jealous of them or excited that when they put us out to pasture, they’ll be able to afford designer Mu Mu’s for me and a room with a view for their dad.

Posted in My issues, Family ties, Pride and Joy, Laugh, Motherhood, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I miss my kids

Posted on October 15, 2010 by

It was April the last time I saw my beautiful Courtney, and my Stephen is in Houston.  While I’ll get to see Courtney at Thanksgiving in New York, it will most likely be Christmas before I see my son.

I miss my kids.  And it’s my fault.

When I was raising my kids I used to tell them that after high school they could go anywhere.  That was the time for them to see the world – there’s more to this life than Oklahoma.  I love the Sooner state, but I wanted them to have a choice – to see what was out there and then make the choice as to where they wanted to live.  If all else failed, they could always come home.

I admit, I was trying a little reverse psychology, and it didn’t work.  I thought if I told them to go, they would choose to stay.  I was wrong.

And now, as the holidays approach, I start getting sad.

That’s to be expected.  But I’ve also reached a place in my life where my kids are happy and they don’t really need me as much as they used to.  Whereas before I would get at LEAST one call a day from Courtney and a call or two a week from Stephen, now I’m lucky if Stephen has time for me once a month and Courtney does good to have time for me once a week.

I understand that they are living the lives I raised them to live, but I didn’t know it would hurt so much.  I LIKE my kids, I LOVE my kids, and I MISS my kids.  I spent 25 years being their mom, and now, they don’t need me.

So I’m baking.  I’m sending them all the goodies that they can’t get anywhere else.  I’m tempting them, enticing them, bribing them – whatever it takes – to remind them that there’s no place like home.  Caramel popcorn, fudge, party mix and puppy chow – all their favorites.

If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change anything.  I know they’re living the lives they were intended to live.  But I would suggest to other moms out there – make home the place that nothing can compete with.

Or, just drill it into their little minds that Mom always comes first.  Period.

Guilt works too.  That’s my next approach.

Stupid empty nest…

Posted in Family ties, Pride and Joy, Laugh, Motherhood, Parenting, guilt, guilt by motherhood, Memories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Homecoming

Posted on October 8, 2010 by

Thirty years ago tonight I was wearing a lovely purple dress and being escorted across the football field to be crowned Homecoming Queen.  I had my Farrah hair sufficiently plastered in place – if a breeze had blown, my Final Net Extra Hold hairspray wings would have given me liftoff.

I can honestly say that the title was never really useful.  There’s no box to check on a job application (gender M/F – homecoming queen Y/N?) and I’ve never had the occasion to wear the crown.  I am available for ribbon cutting ceremonies if anyone needs an old queen!

I’m a little nervous.  It’s been 3 decades since I’ve seen most of the people I went to school with and this evening I’m going to reconnect with them.  A lot has changed – besides my weight.  I have age spots, spider veins, a turkey neck and I’ll have to wear glasses to actually SEE them – then I’ll have to try to figure out WHO they are.  My memory is terrible.  I do good just to remember my own children’s names and don’t ask me how old I am unless you want to wait for me to do the math.

Nostalgia is starting to creep in.  Friends who have already left this world will be missed. I can feel the lump in my throat swelling.  I’m definitely going to need to wear water-proof mascara and stuff a wad of tissues in my purse.

Now to go get ready.  I’ve only got 2 hours and it will take me that long just to squeeze into my Spanx.

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Hm, what to wear?  Crown or no crown?

Posted in Laugh, Memories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Start spreading the news…

Posted on September 20, 2010 by

I’ve spent the majority of my life wanting to live in New York City. Broadway has been calling but I haven’t answered.

No brownstone on the Upper East Side or breakfast at Tiffany’s for me. Oklahoma doesn’t have an upper east anything OR a Tiffany’s.

I always thought New York City sounded so romantic.

But not anymore.

There are 2 groups of people who love New York – the native New Yorkers who have never left the city and don’t know there’s life outside of Manhattan, and the people who’ve never been there and just think they love New York.

In May of 2011 my daughter will graduate from NYU. College is one thing, college in New York City is another. Only those who have experienced the chaos of living in this crazy, dangerous, unscrupulous city will understand. It’s quite an accomplishment.

Who can afford to live in New York anyway?  Rent in New York is ridiculous. $2,600 (plus a hefty $5,100 security deposit) will get you 900 square feet, lots of mice, and a psychotic roommate.  Courtney survived and moved out 7 weeks ago, but she’s still battling to get her deposit returned to her.  Her landlord was always there to collect her money, but now he can’t be reached when it’s time to return the deposit.

Then, there’s New York University. They cater to the rich and spoiled, not the small town girl who legitimately earned her place at their school. She’s been waiting since the end of August to get her loan money, only to discover that NYU has had the check since August 31st but forgot to contact her to endorse it. No big deal to them, but to her it means she can’t eat for another 2 weeks.

AND, for the second time in 6 months, her bank card was stolen.

I know these things could happen anywhere.

But factor in the noise – sirens, honking horns, LOTS of people, and then add in the smells – rotting garbage, exhaust fumes, LOTS of people, and you get STRESS.

And did I mention LOTS OF PEOPLE?

We have a friend who grew up in the New York area and moved to the south after he got married.  He stopped at a convenience store to buy gas.  After he paid the cashier, he was walking out the door and he heard her say, “Thanks.  Come back.”

He turned around and walked back to the counter to see what she wanted.  Southern hospitality hasn’t made it to the East Coast.

The I LOVE NEW YORK campaign was launched in 1970 and in 2008, during the RECESSION, they spent 17 million dollars to update and RE-launch it. If New York is really that wonderful, why do they have to work so hard to convince us?

Start spreading the news. I’m staying right where I am. You can’t wake up in a city that never sleeps because it’s too noisy to GO to sleep in the first place!

OOOOklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping in the form of tornadoes, and the waving neighbors sure smell sweet. Every night my honey Mr. Fit Forever and I sit on the couch and watch reality TV – in silence!

And it’s illegal to shoot a whale in Oklahoma.  I didn’t even know we had an ocean – must be the Indian Ocean…

You’re doing fine Oklahoma!

Posted in Pride and Joy, Laugh, Motherhood, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

To sleep or not to sleep? That is the question.

Posted on September 15, 2010 by

Last night I never went to sleep.  And aside from a 2 hour power nap, I’ve been awake for 38 hours.  Not a good idea, and it really wasn’t productive.

What I would give for a normal snooze pattern!  Getting to sleep has always been a problem, but Lupus seems to exacerbate it.  I either go days without it or have days where I can’t get enough.  Feast or famine.

I don’t know about anyone else, but after all these years, I’ve convinced myself that I have to take advantage of the “good” days.  Which means trying to accomplish a mountain of tasks in a very short time span, without overdoing it.  But I usually don’t succeed.

So the age old dilemma  – to sleep or not to sleep?

I don’t have the answer, but in the meantime, enjoy a little something that will lift your spirits.  It lifted mine!

Posted in Invisible Illness, Laugh, Lupus, Motherhood | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Ditto

Posted on September 14, 2010 by

I love my kids.

Having Lupus made motherhood challenging at times.  It wasn’t fair that they had to pay the price too.  But we made it.  Almost.

Pick on me?  Fine.  Mess with my kids?  I see RED.

It wasn’t enough for an invisible illness to attack me.  I could handle that.  But watching my son have to deal with a life-threatening heart condition for the past seven years took its toll on me.  And then last year my daughter was diagnosed with Lupus.  It was almost more than I could bear.  There were days when I just wanted the world to stop spinning and let me get off.  Watching my children suffer was pure torture.  There should be a clause in the motherhood contract that allows us to take their pain and bear it for them.  It would be so much easier.

This was my mother’s day post.  I meant every word.

I love my kids.  I love my kids.  I love my kids.  I.  Love.  My.  Kids.

Ditto.

I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids. ~ unknown

Because my children are grown and have turned us into Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor – Stephen is a Texan and Courtney is in New York which means we will forever be torn between the two and could do our own remake of Green Acres – it’s not often that the four of us are together.  This past Christmas we were fortunate enough for that to happen.  Sitting around the dinner table that day, Stephen asked me a question that caught me off guard.

“What made you decide to have kids?  Were you bored and just needed something to do?  I mean, really, what were you thinking?”

Wow.  The truth is simple – we both wanted kids and it seemed the natural thing to do, and no, we weren’t thinking.  We weren’t thinking at all.

If I had any idea that being a mom would be so painful, that it’s a decision to forever have your heart exposed and subject to immense agony, if I had KNOWN?  I wouldn’t have chosen it.

There, I said it.

I would have done it differently.

If I had known that I would be wiping snot off a child’s nose onto my shirt while standing in line at the grocery store, I would have done it differently.

If someone had told me that childbirth would be the EASIEST part of being a parent, I would have done it differently.

If I had been able to see into the future and see the struggles my children would face, I would have done it differently.

If I had known that my children would grow up and vote for a Democrat, I would have done it differently.

There are times when I feel responsible for bringing two children into the world that have had to face life with a debilitating disease and had I known, I would never have subjected anyone to that kind of pain.

But my life would have been empty.  And the world would have missed out on having my kids in their midst.

If I had known that my son would shoot fireworks from his bedroom window and I would have to cover my face while I disciplined him so that he wouldn’t know I was laughing, I wouldn’t change a thing.

If I had known that the little girl who colored on my walls would grow up and make her mark on the world in New York City hundreds of miles from home, I wouldn’t change a thing.

If I had been able to see into the future and know that my heart would burst with pride every time I looked into their faces, I wouldn’t change a thing.

If I had known that my children would grow up and think for themselves and make their own decisions and LEAVE ME to go out and see the world and make their own homes, as adults, hundreds and hundreds of miles away from ME?  I wouldn’t change a thing.

Because my children are happy, my heart is full.  Because I have something to SHOW for how I spent the last 25 years of my life.  I have finally begun to experience a return on my investment and IT. IS. GOOD.

Being a mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  And I wouldn’t change a thing.

Posted in Family ties, Invisible Illness, Lupus, Motherhood, My issues, Pride and Joy | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments